Trust
by Chickenpony
Summary: What does Haji do while Saya sleeps? More importantly, where did he go after that fateful night in Vietnam? Oneshot (unless you plead for more) As always I do not own anything, with the exception of Winter/Skylar.


Winter had been touching up the mural in her room, working rather efficiently despite the dim lighting and the ungodly hour when Haji came in. He made no sound, just stood there, blocking the room's only light source. Winter knew it was him even through the wave of darkness that had crashed down around them. "Haji…" she said with surprise and dropped her brush. He wasn't supposed to be back yet. Saya…

Winter never got the chance to finish her thought, because at that moment Haji pulled her into a passionate embrace. His lips feverishly caressed her skin, searched for her mouth, kissed her deeply, crushed his lips into hers when he found them. This was so unlike him…

Suddenly they were on the bed, Haji on top of her. By miraculous speed his shirt was already on the floor and he now worked quickly to unbutton hers. He did not struggle with her brassiere. The front clip came loose with just the barest touch of his long, slender fingers.

His hands now ran down her sides, to her hips, while his lips travelled systematically down from her mouth. Her neck, her collarbones, her breasts… Winter was in ecstasy, she never wanted him to stop, but his touch felt alien to her. Not quite rough, but urgent, somehow. This was so unlike him. Something had happened. Something had changed.

"Haji," said Winter. "Haji," a little louder. She grabbed his hands. "Haji, wait!" He stopped, but didn't look up. "Look at me." Her voice was quiet now. "If you really want to do this, I'm in, but… I won't let you do this if you haven't thought about it. And I- I won't be a tool for your relief." Winter's silken accent cracked on the last words, as if it hurt her to say them.

Haji's eyes met hers for the first time that night. They were wild, laced with some emotion, some pain she could not place. He stared mournfully at her as his eyes dimmed into dull, unfeeling globes. He dropped his head. "Gomenasai…" he whimpered regretfully, falling back on his native language. Winter, despite being British, did not need to think very hard to understand his apology. "Gomenasai… Gomenasai…" he sobbed. "Haji, its fine. It's alright, I'm not mad," Winter told him, stunned by his sudden weakness. She dropped his hands and they immediately found purchase on her shoulders. His left hand cut into her, but she didn't say anything. "Gomenasai…" he whispered again.

Winter's arms wrapped protectively around his body, held him close, allowed him to bury his face in her long chestnut hair. Warm tears trickled onto her naked body. She hesitated. "Haji… What happened in Vietnam?" she finally asked.

Haji began his tale in a trembling voice. He spoke like a frightened child; his voice was sounded small and caught in his throat when he mentioned _her_ name. At times he shuddered at the painful memories, and Winter's heart broke for him. As he spoke, his voice grew dull, hollow, fainter and fainter with each word until he sounded galaxies away. "Saya… She didn't know… who I was…" he said hoarsely.

All of a sudden he went completely slack in Winter's arms. He couldn't have fallen asleep. It wasn't possible. The only thing that could cause a chevalier to faint like that was massive blood loss. Could it be? He'd been lying against her, his bare chest on hers all this time, surely she would've noticed.

Winter lifted the man off her to reveal that they were both drenched in a black liquid. Or at least, in this low light it _appeared_ black.

The wound itself wasn't very serious. He should've healed by now. Perhaps he had tried to heal himself and this was all he had the strength for. Or perhaps because he had been injured by his queen's own blade…

Either way Winter had to do something.

Blood. He needed blood. She knew it would work, he had drunk from her once before after a Red Shield mission.

She reached for the sword next to her bed with one hand, using the other to keep Haji, whom she had lain down again, pressed tightly against her. The sword slipped easily out of its sheath. Now to cut. Winter felt for the sharp edge of the blade and, in one quick motion, ran her palm across it.

With great effort she pulled herself and the dying cellist upright again and let her hand drip onto his lips. It wasn't working. It wasn't fast enough. Winter took a deep breath. "Here goes," she mumbled to herself.

Her lips closed around the laceration and blood flowed into her mouth. It tasted dark and metallic. It tasted unnatural. _Perhaps this is what monster blood _should _taste like._

When her mouth was full, she pressed her lips to Haji's. She forced them apart and let the blood flow freely into him. Haji's eyes fluttered open while she was still kissing him. His mouth responded to hers, moved with it, kissed her back. It may have been an accidental, unromantic kiss, but it still wreaked havoc with her heartbeat.

He pulled back first. "Arigato," he murmured his thanks. Winter blushed and was suddenly much more grateful for the gloom than usual. "But Skylar, you shouldn't be giving blood to me. I'm a monster." Winter blushed even more deeply. It was rare that people called her by her real name. When this particular person did it, her abdomen changed into an airfield for fighter jets on LSD. "Just between us monsters," she managed to say.  
Haji shook his head. The movement was slow, like the air was made of quicksand. "No. You're not a monster. I know what your condition is, I've seen you at your worst and I still don't believe that you and I are the same."  
"I don't think you understand this very well," said Winter. "I don't want you to be hurt, even if you are more monstrous than I. I don't want you to suffer."  
"I can heal on my own time, like a human."  
"No, I want you… I _need_ you to be better now. I know what you're feeling at the moment. I know you don't want to live right now, trust me, I know the feeling very well. But I need you to live. Please… Live on, Haji."

Haji stared up at her with confusion brewing in his stormcloud eyes. "Alright," he sighed. He gently pressed her back down onto the bed. This close to him she could feel his muscles moving fluidly beneath his skin, hear his breaths. Winter's breathing became ragged from the sheer closeness of him. Her heartbeat accelerated as his lips brushed her neck. An uncertain left hand wrapped around the back of her neck while the right brushed aside a few stray curls.

Winter held perfectly still when his teeth penetrated her skin. She didn't flinch, or jerk away. She didn't even whimper or moan. Not a single sound escaped her while he drank.

He kept drinking until she began to feel lightheaded. "Haji…" she warned weakly, but he had already withdrawn. "Gomenasai," he purred between licks as he cleaned off her wound with his tongue, getting to the blood he had spilled.

Haji straightened himself so that he straddled her hips between his knees, and allowed his hand to graze her chest with his movement. "Haji, your hand…" Winter whispered with concern and slight alarm. Quick as a flash his hand disappeared. "No, let me see!" she scolded and pulled his arm out from behind his back. "This is your chiropteran form?" she asked and lightly stroked the claw. He hung his head like he was guilty of some great crime. "No, don't you ever feel ashamed of this! Don't you dare feel bad about yourself! Even if you turned into a fully-fledged demon, you'd still be special to me. So don't let a little cosmetic alteration get between us. Please don't try to hide from me." She smiled up at him. "I'm not going anywhere. So you'd better make yourself comfortable. I will stay here with you until the end of time if that's what you need. Please don't hide from me." She reached up and cradled his face with her bloody hand. His claw closed over it for a second, then he did as he was told and made himself comfortable.  
He moved so that he was no longer on top of her, except for his head, which he had lain down on her chest. For a moment they just stayed that way, staring up at the ceiling, not speaking a word.

Winter broke the silence first. "How do you feel?" she asked gently.  
"I don't know… The wound is gone, but I still feel pain. I- I can't describe it. It's like-"  
"It's like you're breathing, but the air doesn't reach your lungs. It's like your ribs are broken. You can barely stand to inhale, but exhaling makes you feel crushed. It's like your heart is missing and you're bleeding on the inside. Your abdomen feels like a beast raked its talons around in there and knotted your intestines. It's like there's a boulder on your stomach that you can't get off. You feel sick to your core. You want to scream, you can hear the primal cry of your soul's agony, but you can't make a sound, you don't have the capacity. You're completely pacified, frozen in place. It's like you can't manage a single thought through the all-encompassing blackwater crushing your mind. When you do think, you only hurt more."

"Winter…" Haji gasped, surprised at her monologue. That was probably the most Winter had ever said without being prompted. He turned his head to look up at her, but she was fervently studying the ceiling. "How did you..? What happened..?"  
Winter wouldn't answer him. There are some things you just can't go back to.

Haji shifted so that he towered above her and looked her straight in the eyes. His muscular arms were planted at either side of her head and rose straight up to his shoulder blades like chiselled marble pillars, a work of Michelangelo himself. "I get it, you know," he said softly. "Remember when you said I don't have to hide in front of you? That goes for you too. You don't have to tell me, but… You _can _trust me, Sky."

Skylar reached up to Haji and ran her fingers through his hair, which had long ago escaped its blue ribbon. "To trust, then," she said.

_**A/N: Y'all can decide for yourselves what happens then. **_

_**I am working on another chapter that explains Winter's past how she and Haji met as we speak!**_


End file.
